In the end, really it doesn't matter anymore...

Haha. first thing first... I'm dead tired. Woke up at 7+ this morning and went for the early class and got class til 6. Of course thanks to the kind lecturers who understands that we're tired so let us off earlier ;)

We had a meeting with a particular lecturer that we're not happy with today. Honestly, it was a big joke. There's like more than just seeing us acting like idiots than trying to solve problem for us. It's more like a that's-your-problem-and-you-should-work-on-it solution rather than anything else. WTF? This is way too much. And I seriously learnt more about some ppl in my class who will just talk as loud as one could but can't just do the thing one said. What's the point of this whole thing anyway? And those student who doesn't have prob with the lecturer came and bang us and really making it like it's our problem. And gosh.. "there are two level of ppl in this class, one is the more advance the others are more of the ppl who can't adapt to the lecturer's teaching" WTF? WTF? I'm so disliking the other semester ppl.They make it like "oh.. you guys are degree student, you should do research on ur own" Yes, I know. But without the correct guidance of the lecturer, how would you actually start? I'm not talking in terms of spoon-feeding here. Is just that Hello.. is just b/c you guys are being ignorant doesn't mean that we're stupid. Those ppl are those who come to college and pay the lecturer and just to get the assignment done and that's it. Was that suppose to be the attitude we should have? Talking about betraying here.

Personally speaking, I don't think the lecturer can let you off without any tiny grudge on us. She's gonna do something. And duh.. she's not happy with us for doing all this kinda shit. One of my friend who so happen to be so enthusiastic to hand up the letter and all but today, said nothing. *sigh* I guess I'll just hold on with this kind of shit for a several weeks then I shall not see her face again. I paid her twice for nothing.

Anyway, I better go now. Seriously I'm worried I might just die due to seeing computer screen too much and full of stress most of the time. Haha. Life's like that? Is that true? Bla Blah.

Haha. Life's like that...

This week is rather stressful than usual. So many things to be done yet hard to be completed. Just like today, the NOS test. The only thing I could say is that it's all my fault for not studying enough. Still finding some reasons to make myself looking not so bad. Haha. Cuz during the weekend, it was seriously hectic. Didn't get enough sleep. And trust me, my eyes are getting smaller.

Tmr... will be the longest day I'm gonna have in KDU. There will be class from 9-12,1-3,4-6. And we'll be having a meeting with the lecturers and program leader regarding to the lecturer. Obviously, complain. I'm hoping I'll be able to get hold of myself. Cuz I seriously want to settle this peacefully without ruining the relationship with the lecturer nor trying to make everyone unhappy. But knowing myself having such bad temper, I don't dare to promise. I wonder how will the lecturer react and what is she gonna say. Haha. We'll see.

Nothing much to talk about other than stacking up with assignments and studies. Where's my life? Haha. KDU took away my life. I'll try to get it back soon. Haha.

I guess i really need a break to get really enough sleep in order to get rid of my eye bag. It's really horrible. I used to be without eye bags. Now I'm like a panda. Panda is cute but I don't want to be one especially when I'll be the ugliest panda. Wow. It's gonna be april soon. Too soon.

Listening to my friends telling me about his/her relationship with another guy/girl makes me feel again, loneliness. I understand there's several reasons why there's no guy fond of a girl like me. Not being underestimating myself but just speak out the truth.

I wonder how my future's gonna be. I'm always wondering. And at the end of the day never realised it's already here. It's too late for me to actually step back for any changes in my studies. No matter what happens, I have to finish my journey of education in KDU next year and hoping to achieve something in the end. well vic, gotta try harder and harder then. *peace*

The Trouble With Love Is- Kelly Clarkson

Love can be a many splendid thing
Has another joy you bring
A dozen roses
Diamond rings
Dreams for sale
And fairy tales
It'll make you hear a symphony
And you'll just want the world to see
But like a drunk that makes you blind
It'll fool you every time

The trouble with love is
It can tear you up inside
Make your heart believe a lie
Gets stronger then your pride
The trouble with love is
It doesn't care how fast you fall
And you can't refuse the call
See you've got no say at all

Now I was just a once a fool it's true
I played the game by all the rules
But now my world's a deeper blue
I'm sadder but I'm wiser too
I swore I'd never love again
I swore my heart would never mend
Said love wasn't worth the pain
But then I hear it call my name

The trouble with love is
It can tear you up inside
Make your heart believe a lie
Gets stronger then your pride
The trouble with love is
It doesn't care how fast you fall
And you can't refuse the call
See you've got no say at all

Every time I turn around
I think I've got it all
My heart keeps callin
And I keep on fallin
Over and over again
This set story always ends the same
Me standin in the pouring rain
It seems no matter what I do
It tears my heart in two

Repeat Chorus

Zuzuzuzu...

one word of the day... tired...


P.s. I'm REALLY a blog whore :P

I'm a freaking blog whore :P

lol. I just keep blogging and blogging huh? supposely doing my work but just keep thinking about some stuff and ended up blogging so much. Just feel grateful to share the same thoughts with certain friends. They keep me going! Thank you all *bows* Normally I don't state names.. but now, just want to give a big hug and thank you to these following ppl: Gab, Wai Ling, Win, Joshua, Shahira, Gladys, Khan, Joanne, Enn Yong, Cheng Yee, and everyone else who really keep me going on. Don't feel disappointed if I didn't mention ur name. It doesn't mean I forget about you. Everyone that I've known in this world owns a part of my heart. No matter how I dislike you, or how long have I've been knowing you, Just like to say thank you for everything that you brought into my life. Happy or sad, we've been through it all and we're still standing today. You guys are the reason that I feel proud of being who I am. Seriously. Why do I sound so weird? Lol. Nothing much. Just the midnight thingy strikes but the thank you part is not just simply thanking ppl around. Sincerely, I would love to thank y'all. You guys mean so much to me in every part of my life.

Thanks!

Wind- Akeboshi

Cultivate your hunger, before you idealize
Motivate your anger, to make them all realize
Climbin' the mountain, never coming down
Break into the contents, never falling down

My knee is still shaking, like I was twelve
Sneaking out the classroom, by the backdoor
A man railed at me twice, though, but I didn't care
Waiting is wasting for people like me

Chorus:
Don't try to live so wise
Don't cry 'cause you're so right
Don't dry with fakes or fears
'Cause you will hate yourself in the end

(Repeat)

You say, "Dreams are dreams"
"I ain't gonna play the fool, anymore"
You say, "'Cause I still got my soul"

Take your time, baby, your blood needs slowing down
Breach your soul to reach yourself before you gloom
Reflection of fear makes shadows of nothing
Shadows of nothing

You still are blind, if you see a winding road
'Cause there's always a straight way to the point you see

Don't try to live so wise
Don't cry 'cause you're so right
Don't dry with fakes or fears
'Cause you will hate yourself in the end

(Repeat x2)

'Cause you will hate yourself in the end

(Repeat x4) Cultivate your hunger, before you idealize
Motivate your anger, to make them all realize
Climbin' the mountain, never coming down
Break into the contents, never falling down

My knee is still shaking, like I was twelve
Sneaking out the classroom, by the backdoor
A man railed at me twice, though, but I didn't care
Waiting is wasting for people like me

Chorus:
Don't try to live so wise
Don't cry 'cause you're so right
Don't dry with fakes or fears
'Cause you will hate yourself in the end

(Repeat)

You say, "Dreams are dreams"
"I ain't gonna play the fool, anymore"
You say, "'Cause I still got my soul"

Take your time, baby, your blood needs slowing down
Breach your soul to reach yourself before you gloom
Reflection of fear makes shadows of nothing
Shadows of nothing

You still are blind, if you see a winding road
'Cause there's always a straight way to the point you see

Don't try to live so wise
Don't cry 'cause you're so right
Don't dry with fakes or fears
'Cause you will hate yourself in the end

(Repeat x2)

'Cause you will hate yourself in the end

(Repeat x4)

Just missin' the old days...

When you suddenly receive a msg from a friend who you haven't been really keeping in touch with, don't your friend just remind you or really making you wanting to go back to those happy days. It seems like I'm not alone having all the stress and pressure. Ha. One of my girlfriend SMS me out of sudden today and I was kinda surprise and also feeling guilty for not keeping in touch with her. lol. We were whinning about how the degree life make us feeling so damn depress... lol.

Really have to come out with a counter that counts the word "depress" and "sigh" cuz i've been using these words forever... Listening to one of the Naruto's ending theme "Wind" by Akeboshi. I don't completely understand what the song meant but truly everytime when I'm listening to it, somehow I feel so right to what I feel and imagining how Naruto was alone before he graduated from the academy and get to know Sasuke and Sakura. Haha. Suddenly I feel like I'm like Naruto. I have friends like Sasuke and Sakura too. And it's the 3 of us. Ahaha the difference is that me and the "Sasuke" that I know is not like in the show. The situation of 3 ppl is like naruto's. Haha. But I can't say I'm like Naruto either. I have good friends. I don't have seals in me. Not the kyuubi. Haha. If I do, the world's gonna end.

Then again, 48 hours wish. Seriously I just don't have enough time to learn everything I want and I seriously need a break. My head feels like it's gonna burst. Sigh.. again...

Lol. Alright. need to try to do some stuff for tmr's class. Ta.

Just drop by to say hi...

Lol. I'm too bored i guess. Here to say hi. Wow. The pressure and stress are starting to get heavier and it irritates me cuz it's too much to take. 5 assignments. Due dates are like... omg.. *sigh*

Today is another day of me being miserable and mood-less. Both of my friends didn't come to college today so making me feeling so alone. *sob* Why are they seem to be so busy til they care less about college huh? Me in the other hand feeling completely stupid and useless. Ppl are doing some stuff for other ppl, look at me. everyday go for class and do I have great skill in something? NO.

So now, I actually think of starting to learn about photography. Take pictures, brush up photoshop skills, and programming skills. I want to be useful. College's stuff alone won't help me to get what I want. And to come and think of it, it could be sort of wasting my time. *sigh* My target, get a digital SLR, get a powerMac and the cinema display. Lol. Sounded like I'm so desperate to be a pro. But I really want to be one even if I don't have all these stuff just yet. It starts from my powerbook. If I can make a full use of my powerbook, getting a powermac won't make me feel such a waste. I want this powerbook to worth what it is. lol.
Alright then, quit wasting time, get all the shits done. Ta.

P.S. Yondaime rules. >.< Although he doesn't really have a scene in naruto just yet other than his picture on the wall.

I wish I have 2 brains not 4 stomachs... =/

Lol. I really DO wish I have two brains. Why? If my brain can divide into 2, i'll be able to use one to store ONLY my knowledge and the other one to think about stuff. Haha. I realised I've been so stupid recently. Can't seem to understand theoretical terms easily. Like last time, I had a really hard time to understand physics, I'm just not good at it =P or maybe I didn't try hard enough to understand it. Fortunately I was able to pass my physics everytime. Phew. Haha.

Life gets serious tougher day after day. Especially in human interaction and studying. When I said human interaction, meaning communication between me and the ppl around me. Emotionally especially =/ wtf? lol. To you who's reading, don't you find it a little boring to read what I type? Haha.

Can someone tell me where did all the time goes? Cuz everything seems to pass by very fast. And I'm getting really confused. Over what? Too hard to explain here. Thank God I have great friends who always keep in touch with me no matter how far we are from each other ;) *big hug to that special someone*(when I said special someone, keep this in mind, is a "she", u should know who you are :D)

I hate monday. I never felt so hatred about mondays before. Ever since the new year and new sem started, Monday has always been a nightmare to me. The long day of classes, the stress peaks for the week, it's the first day of the week, I tend to be alone most of the time. wtf? I really hate to be alone honestly, but lately I seem to get use to it. But being alone truly suck. Just because you have to hide everything within urself when u're alone. You can't possibly scream or yell when u're alone if you feel frustrated right? Ppl will think you're out of your mind if you do. Ha.

Alright then. Gotta finish the unfinish business and get some sleep.Class started at 9 tmr =/ ahhh.. F-Monday!

Before I go, here's a pic of Yondaime of naruto. If you catch Naruto, you'll know what's Hokage and Yondaime was the forth. And I was so glad I bought 2 sets of Naruto's action figures yesterday. Not completely satisfied with them cuz there's a few character that I wanted in another sets but that stupid sales don't want to change for me although is the same price =/ I'll try to take a pic of my collection set soon. Here's the cute Yondaime. He's hot :D

P.S. apparently blogger acting gay. I'll repost the pic tmr. Ta.

"I'm not good at giving up..." well said :D

friday.. yay! haha. why does time have to go faster when friday comes? It's almost 11.05 pm. *sigh*

Didn't do anything much. Went for class in the morning. Then came home at abt 12 ish. I slept for hours. Lol lately I tend to sleep easily when there's free time. It's like very tiring everyday. I played squash today. I realised why ppl r so proud of Nicol David for being the world champion in squash cuz squash is not easy to play. Seriously. Today was the second time I played squash and I'm still suck at it. Duh... haha. I think I really need to keep playing squash regularly cuz I discovered that I'm not as active as I was before. At least last time during high school days, I played volleyball, basketball and all. And ever since I've not been played for years, I'm so lazy to even run around. But I tried though. And of course, I'm fat =( I need to loose those pounds. Desperately need to get rid of them. lol. Must keep on focusing, and run around more. If I continue to sit the whole day, my backbone will be easily crushed when I played games like this.

Commonwealth games have been started huh? Lol. Don't even have time to catch 'em. I remembered last time I love to watch all the water sports (other than water polo), rhythmic gymnastic, artistic gymnastic.. ^-^

I'm not sure if I'm being paranoia or what. It seems like lately my attitude has not been so good. I basically speak without using my brain, easily annoyed by stuff, worried abt some stuff/ ppl over nothing. *sigh* I want back the old me again. I want "her" back so much. Where's the happy-go-lucky vic?

Right, i better start on my assignment since I'm feeling awake now. lol. laterz.

Ahaha.cartoon & LP makes me happy :)

Seriously I've been in a pretty bad mood lately. And yesterday was the time I nearly burst. I've got absolutely no idea why am I acting like that. And can't seem to find a reason of what I'm frustrated of. Haha. I realised in the future if I have a baby, after giving birth I'll have a big chance of breaking down, emotionally. My emotion seems to be more and more out of control. *sigh* I guess I need to take up an anger management class. Lol. Control my emotions..

LP saved me again from going absolutely helpless.After like 3 months didn't pay any attention to Hybrid Theory and Meteora, yesterday both these album caused my sadness and depression to go away. Cuz the lyrics always help. And make me feel like I'm not alone. I just don't want to keep bothering my friends. I felt sorry for them. *sigh* After the LP sessions,I went to watch crayon shin chan and hamtaro, my mood got so much better. Another night wasted on trying to heal my depression. Oh. And I'm so glad that Gab called. Although we didn't have a long talk, I felt so thankful that she called. Thanks dear *hugs* Btw, last night had a weird yet nice dream about you. I dreamt that we went for a skii -trip in somewhere, and we went skiing together. Lol. I wonder if that dream will come true. I miss you dear :)

Ahaha, I always ended up doing nothing in the library. But posting my blog, chatting, and surf a little. Lol. Alright then, better start working hard before it's too late. Ta.

P.S. Isn't hamtaro adorable? Awwww... ^-^

I find myself f-ing annoying..

it's always the time of the month I act like this. Annoying.Stupid. And yet, this will be another pointless, wasting-time and i-warn-you-better-don't read-entry.

I want to know where did my "life" goes?
Social Life=0;
college-filled-with-assignments-life=100;
love life=-100;
sum of my life=0+100+(-100)=0;
You can see how bored I am and how stupid I'm acting. I hope it's not just me who thinks time really goes by faster and faster day after day. 24 hours is absolutely too short. if there's 48 hours a day, 24 hours make it like how our schedule are right now and the remaining 24 hours are like our break time.So that way, we won't really need much holiday and less-stress. Ha. Easy for me to say. No such thing as 48 hours per day.

I guess I really need a counter to count how many entries like this have I posted. Maybe I should make one myself. Haha.

Actually it has been like almost 4 years since the last time I hold a guy's hand. And I'm still alone. *sob* Everytime when ppl started to talk about their relationship with so and so, I tend to feel a lil' depress. Why? You can see that I sounded really desperate. It's not that I have anyone in mind but that loneliness has to strike me out of sudden. The image of someone be there for me and love me has been floating inside my head. The thing is: I fear to love. I don't dare to actually think of anything about any guy. Cuz I don't want to feel the wrong thing, give the wrong sign, and stay out of focus on my study. But I realised ever since the semester started, I don't have the mood to study, and didn't really focus. I'm so dead. *sigh*

Shut up vic!

Where'd You Go- Fort Minor featuring Holly Brook & Jonah Matranga

Holly:
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.

Mike:
She said "Some days I feel like shit,
Some days I wanna quit, and just be normal for a bit,"
I don't understand why you have to always be gone,
I get along but the trips always feel so long,
And, I find myself tryna stay by the phone,
'Cause your voice always helps me when I feel so alone,
But I feel like an idiot, workin' my day around the call,
But when I pick up I don't have much to say,
So, I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', at times debatin',
Tellin' you that I've had it with you and your career,
Me and the rest of the family here singing "Where'd you go?"

Holly & Jonah:
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Please come back home...

Mike:
You know the place where you used to live,
Used to barbecue up burgers and ribs,
Used to have a little party every Halloween with candy by the pile,
But now, you only stop by every once in a while,
Shit, I find myself just fillin' my time,
Anything to keep the thought of you from my mind,
I'm doin' fine, I plan to keep it that way,
You can call me if you find you have somethin' to say,
And I'll tell you, I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', at times debatin',
Tellin' you that I've had it with you and your career,
Me and the rest of the family here singing "Where'd you go?"

Holly & Jonah:
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Please come back home...

Mike:
I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', no longer debatin',
Tired of sittin' and hatin' and makin' these excuses,
For why you're not around, and feeling so useless,
It seems one thing has been true all along,
You don't really know what you got 'til it's gone,
I guess I've had it with you and your career,
When you come back I won't be here and you can sing it...

Holly & Jonah:
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Please come back home...
Please come back home...
Please come back home...
Please come back home...
Please come back home...

Finally weekend...

Ahaha. I love friday. Cuz can relax a lil'. Take a break. Sit around. Lol.

Anyway, Happy Birthday Joshua! Lol. Dunno how many times I've said this sentence today =P ahaha. Hopefully we really gave him an unforgettable 20th birthday. Actually kinda like the "traditional style" of celebrating. Lunch. Movie. Dessert. Home. We brought him to chilis to had lunch today. And gosh, I never thought the chilis in 1 utama sucks this bad. Cuz I know that the chilis in BSC is really good. The food I mean. Blah. I was full after having the fish and chips but I don't have the satisfaction of a nice meal cuz the meal is not that nice =/ Lol. sorry to Joshua for giving him such a bad lunch. Ahaha. After that we went to watch Underworld 2. Honestly, I guess I don't really fond of this kind of movie. Apart from looking at Kate Beckinsale. Yes! I can't believe I only notice her throughout the whole movie. Cuz no cute guys, and almost never a scene there is fully bright. Lol. what am I to say? It's UNDERWORLD anyway. Haha. But she's really hot. Lol. After the movie, I felt kinda weird of not ordering a cake for Joshua in chilis during lunch since everyone is so full. So we brought him to secret recipe, order a slice of Chocolate Banana for him and make him blow candle. Haha. Then in the car, I have to dig out his box of present underneath his seat since we were trying so hard to hide it since morning. Hehe. So glad to see him so happy today.I thought the plan will go wrong today, but it turned out perfect. Thank God for that.

Friday night. Hooking on to my powerbook. And seriously praying nothing wrong with it but the ram. Or else I'll have to send it back tmr and I'll be without it for a few weeks =/ *finger crossed*

Whee. I'm dead tired. From all the classes. Haven't even start any assignments yet and i'm complaining so much. *sigh* Lol. that's all for now. Naruto time!! :D Ta

Me...

Lol.. sometimes I don't find myself having the mood to post but when i do have the mood, i'll post regularly :P anyway.. last night shahira sent me some clips of that she took of the frog they dissected. Honestly for a minute I feel like puking. Last time I do have the "ambition" to become a doctor. But somehow, that ambition has long gone. That's the reason why I can't be a biologist/doctor/surgeon or anything related to dissect. It's not that I'm afraid of blood is just that the more I grow up the more I feel like it's pretty disgusting. Ok. Sue Me. That's my problem. I guess ever since I step out of the life of a science student, the point of view that I have has become really different.

*sigh* I wonder how am I suppose to boost up my energy and really focus on my stuff. I find it pretty hard for me to concentrate this semester and I wonder why. No no. Not because of Mike. I know I'm madly in love with him but instead of making me lose my concentration, whenever I think of him, his spirit of dedication makes me feel like I need to work harder. There's so many things I want to complete and learn but this college seriously has been making my self esteem gone really low. I don't have confident in what I'm doing anymore and worse still for some time, I don't even understand what I'm doing. I really don't want to f-up in my life in the future. I need a good job. I need to earn money. I need to take care of my family.

Right. the first step, stop blogging in library when I'm suppose to be doing my work. Ta.

Life gets tougher...

*sigh* after all that happiness I've got last week, it's time to be sad again cuz after seeing how my year 2 subjects go, I felt so lost and have a very strong feeling that I'll screw everything up. The timetable's been f-up, the lecturers.. most are ok, but I got one lecturer who's teaching me AGAIN this semester and most probably I'm gonna b fail this subject cuz I understand everything BUT NOTHING that she taught and no one in the class seems to be happy with her. She's such a f-ing bitch and liar. BOOO shirley!! U're the worst lecturer I've ever met in my whole life. I don't mean to flame you but I seriously told myself to give you a chance after last semester and apparently you're not doing your part as a lecturer. And it will be YOUR FAULT if we all fail. Cuz the truth is you should quit being a lecturer and do something else. KDU is even blind to employ someone like you.

Lol, have a feeling that I'm gonna be sued for that. Well I'm not trying to create unreasonable argue here is just that you don't deserve to be respected. We really want to respect you like how we do for other lecturers but obviously you made us fail to do so.

Enough abt lecturer though. I find it pretty hard this year. So many things that I don't know and recently my powerbook has been pretty f-up. *sigh*

I don't know.. I don't want to know what will happen to me in the future. All I can do now is to try to work very hard . *sigh*

One of the days that I would never forget...

Yesterday's entry was about the meet & greet. Today's is about the show. Lol. Bare with me if I forget anything cuz I was too blur to really focus on anything else but Mike's face =P

After DJ cheapshot did his tracks, he went backstage, and after chanting for FM for about 2-3 mins, finally we saw Mike coming out from the backstage.*melted* He was wearing a black sun glasses and his cap on.. oooo... i remembered he was cap-less during m&g. muahahahahaha. Anyway, after the guys came out, those ppl started to push even more =/ and in that kind of situation, if someone falls, all of us are gonna fall. sigh. there's this girl in front of me.. eeewww.. her hair kept brushing at my hands and i almost wanted to ask her to tie her hair up. Seriously, it was pretty yuck =/ Tie up the bloody hair when you go to a concert would you? pfft. So anyway, "Remember The Name" was the first track they played.. I was like busy taking pics and seriously it was damn hard to even focus when ppl are pushing you around. So the set list was Remember The Name, It's Going Down, In Stereo, High Road, Numb/Encore, acapella version of Cigarettes, Red to Black, Where'd you go, Petrified, In The end, Feel Like Home, a few old school hip hop songs i don't remember the track name, and the show ended with Believe Me. The highlight of the show was when Mike went "it seems like you guys understand english pretty well huh?" =_=" i guess b/c before this they went to taiwan and i guess the fans don't quite understand what they said. Anyway, Mike was teaching us to do the "LA" sign so it makes all of them "feel like home" =) *dies* I tell you, everytime he took off his cap, I was screaming my shit off. And of course I died :D He's sooooo cute!!!!! AHHHHHH!!! lol. It was even more touching when he took of a lighter before "where'd you go" and asked everyone to take out their lighter or cellphone and raised it up high. Awwww... sweeettt. And what a relief when I get to know that no funny "special guest" are invited to sing the part for where'd you go. Instead, we were the ones who sang that part!! whee!! unlike the one in taiwan, Elva Hsiao totally ruined it ! =/ How I wish Holly Brook was here. And before cigarettes, Mike was like "alright,right now I want to do something that I've not done before in any crowds." Then he was trying to make us come up with the beat, but the funny thing is that somehow the beat goes faster. Mike was like "uh uh.. slower..." ahahaha. Then he started to rap a few words from Cigarettes. After that, Ryu was like sitting beside the DJ booth and pick up a cigarettes and put in his mouth and he was like "Yo Mike, don't I look cool?" XD *dies* Ryu's soooo HOT!!! Mike went "yo man, if you wanna smoke, smoke after the show" =D Mike Mike Mike. And I forgot until which song, they were like saying that was the last song and all of us were like "WE WANT MORE!!!" and gosh we even stomped the floor!! And finally the guys came out again and sang Numb/Encore. Coolness ^-^ And I remember there was a part when Ryu threw his towel at us, Audrey, Me and another girl happened to catch it and seriously I don't even plan to let go at all!!! And god knows how the heck she knows that we got their signatures. I was seriously pulling so damn hard. I don't wanna let go and in the end Aud was like.. just give her only. Sigh. That gal is no good la. Not like she really is a SOB fan anyway =/ Ha, there was a guy, he even tried to cut my line during the show and he was like "my friend's in front" and I was like "yeah right, my friend's in front too". He was like "owh really? Don't lie" .. and that time, Geraldine was really in front so I called her and she looked back. So that guy was like seriously embarassed. Ha! wanna mess with me?! You gotta know what you're doing first bro! And honestly after the show, Mike jumped down the stage and he was like signing some stuff for the front row ppl i guess. Too bad I couldn't stay longer since I gotta get home =/ But then after that my head was seriously pain and i've got a little voice left and i'm dead tired. I got home at abt 10.30+.

Seriously this is the best show I ever attend! Even though last time Simple Plan's showcase, I was really close to the stage and I got to hold Pierre's hand but compare to the pic I got with Mike, Pierre is totally NOTHING at all! :P Sorry to say, but Simple Plan is just no big deal to me, I do like some of their music, but I guess I won't be a long term fan.

Mike Shinoda is not just an idol to me, also, he's been really inspiring to me with the way he does everything and his spirit that dedicated to whatever he did. I'm really touched by this. Is like after the show, I felt like dying cuz it was seriously tiring but Mike and others are like gonna have another show in Singapore the next day!! And gosh they still need to go for interviews and all. And they still have a few destination to go before going home. And after he's home, he gotta continue writing music for Linkin Park cuz they said that hopefully they can drop the album this year. And he didn't even complain or blame anyone!!! I know life as a musician is always about touring and all but Mike is like working non-stop. Even the other guys really took a long break after Meteora's tour.For that, I'm a little worried though cuz he looked kinda tired when he was in Malaysia. Mike, don't overwork yourself, we still need some good music from you for the coming years! :)

Anyway, that's all about my story. haha. Gotta go and do my work now. Ta.

It can only goes deeper and more inspiring :)

Lol, I guess now I'm almost back to my normal mode. Almost. Haha. So many things to do, so little time.

Owh well let me talk about the concert, meeting mike and all. I would say 28 February will be a very memorable day. Come on, this year's february is only 28 days and it's my FM day. 4 years from now will be really meaningful.

I went there at abt 3pm that day. Couldn't be more excited that I immediately rushed to the venue after the last class.(owh well not last on that day but last class for me, i actually skipped the class from 4-6) ahaha. And when I reached there, I saw like less than 10 ppl over there. I was a little surprise though. But then it's just Fort Minor and not Linkin Park so that's why not many ppl are there.

First thing first, I look around for ppl.. anyone from LPU or FMST. I saw a few dudes in LPU shirt but I don't really wanna approach since they looked kinda like.. owh well.. And i saw this girl wearing LPU shirt, so i went over and asked abt the thing and lol, it turned out to be Audrey XD Lmao, both of us were like having the wtf-moment (but a good one). We went like "oohh you're audrey!!" and "Victoria?! Owh Victoria!!" ^-^ Never forget how we met up aud :D Then after a while, Ima called me on my phone and she was actually behind me. Lmao again. I felt pretty bad for not staying with her all the time though. Then after like half an hour standing under the hot sun, there came a few person in a group.And Audrey immediately recognise them while I'm still lost. Haha. Blurness. After a while, there's this girl handed me a McD package then only I realised she is SJ :D Lmao, never thought you look so young dearie :D btw,you look like someone I know though. Then I was introduced to Serenade, Octah, Geraldine and 2 of SJ's friends :D I felt so embarassed to actually ask her to help me buy my lunch though. And seriously the waiting for the thing was really killing me. But it was all worth it ;) So all of us continue to look around for those ppl and waited for the time to collect our m&g passes. And everyone was distributing the FM stickers. (ahaha, I did the less anyway :P) So as the time goes by, we met up with a few more ppl from LPU and FMB. And I needed some change to pay Snade back for the cali flag, so SJ walked with me to those stalls outside, and gosh.. those ppl are seriously trying to make money by selling freaking lousy stuffs.. the shirts suck, the tag sucks and for pete sake they even have the tag with signatures of some anonymous and wanted to fool us with the guys' signature? owh.. get a life.

Ahaha. Long long long story... Then we waited til like almost 7 for that freaking gate to open. And gosh I was there since 3 and I've been standing under the hot sun like for hours. Darn.. my back got really burnt =/ And finally those stooopid security opens the gate and then only we can retrieve our m&g passes. After retrieving the passes, we went into the hotlink zone to party a bit. Lol, beatdown and 3 violinst were there and so all of us got them signed our stuff and we took pics with them. Beatdown is pretty nice :) He signed on my back haha. How I wished Mike and all were there. Then we went back to the m&g counter to wait to go for the m&g. And yes!! finally we got to that place. As we stepped in, my heartbeat started to pound faster. Lol. I kept wanting to go last in the line so I can have more time to see the guys and even talked to them. I thought a bunch of us were last in the line.. but seriously, curse hitz.fm winners. I mean I think most of them are not true fans at all. pfft. I don't mind if they go right in front of me. Sheesh. I really hate those ppl who acted pretty stupid and knows nothing abt FM. If you're not interested, don't freaking go then, give the chance to those who really wanted to see them. So anyway, before my turn, I was snapping pics of them. But too bad those ppl in front blocking me and those stupid security was like pushing us into a line =/ it's not like i wanted to cut lines anyway. And til MC Yoon was greeting those guys, I was almost near them and I was asking Diney if that's really Mike Shinoda. Cuz I almost couldn't believe it. And beatdown was the first one and he was like "i've signed urs right?" ^-^ So moving on was Ryu, owh gosh, I can't believe he looks so good in person! :D And when Snade told him she was outlawserenade, he immediately stand up and came out to give her a hug. *envy* and then Snade and Ryu asked me if I could take a photo of them. And yes, I did :D And seriously that was the nicest pic in my camera :D *envy again* After that, I guess Ryu thought it was serenade's cali flag but it was mine, he used it to wipe his head *dies dies* And gosh.. the next was... MIKE!!!!!! I was like staring at him for a while and honestly I felt myself stop breathing at that very moment. And my inner me kept telling me to ask for a photo with him. And man.. he's so damn sweet and said softly "come closer and we'll take a shot" and Diney took the pic for us. (thanks dearest, it meant so much to me) And from that very moment, he totally owns me. The obssession towards him grows so much more and I just couldn't say a word after that.*dies and becomes a soul* And the next one was Tak. He's so nice too. He went "What up?" And shook my hand. *dies* And then.. the sweet DJ cheapshot. Awww.. he's so nice. He was actually there and looked at me for me to take a pic of him (should have took one WITH him though =/) He even started to say hi before I reached to him. *dies again* Although the m&g was pretty short, the few minutes there are enough for me to cherish in my entire life.

So after the m&g,I was still like floating over there and almost forgot that the show is coming up next. So Diney, Aud and I went into the zone and we were trying to squeeze as front as possible. But before that, I called Khan to tell abt my excitement :D Then all of us waited til like 8.45, Cheapshot came out and played some tracks. He was really cool. But I was a little not too used to that loud bass. It actually vibrated like my whole body. Lol.Then abt 8 mins, he went backstage. Then all of us keep chanting for Fort Minor. And... I'll continue in the next entry :D Sorry ppl. Gtg now.

I MET MIKE SHINODA!! And now I'm officially a Shinoda's property.Yep.He truly OWNS me!

Muahaha forget abt the fucked up feeling I had before. I was actually worrying over nothing. And OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG... I MET MY DEAR MIKE SHINODA!!!! He just looks awesome. Adorable. Sweet. Amazing. Hot. Hehe. I'm really excited. Even til now. I'm like.. Can't stop the excitement within me. Haha.. Since I'm in the library, I can't make any noise. hehe. Gosh. and I really took a picture WITH him!! *dies* Nothing is more valuable than taking a pic with him. *dies again*

I'm too excited to even say anything. ^-^ all I can say is.. I met Mike. I Love Mike. He OWNS me. Mike so sweet. Mike so nice. Mike Mike Mike. Mike Mike Mike. I'll say more abt the show when I get myself back to normal. ^-^ *whee*

Mike SHINODA owns!