Because of Me...
Mood has not been really good. Not even today :( Although there's only 3 classes for today, somehow the sky always seem to rain whenever I want to go home. Well is seriously not the first time that is happening, cuz everytime I wanted to get home from class, the sky is always dark. And when I reach home, the rain stops. Almost everytime is like this. Sometimes I wonder am I cursed? =/ God knows.
I think I really have to take the "diet" and "keep fit" subject seriously. And I MUST do it. Not WILL. After the "trial" presentation for LSC today, I realised how fat I am. Eeeww. Cuz everytime when I look at myself in the mirror, I don't feel as bad as I did after watching the playback of my presentation. All I can say is that I totally LOST my self-confidence. I know is never a good thing to have so many negative thoughts about myself but I can't seem to find a positive way to think about myself right now. And I even have a feeling that if this situation goes on, I might just ended up being killed by my own thoughts. Ha. No fear, I will never do things like killing myself with my own hands no matter how upset I am cuz I know I still have my mum and my friends who care about me. Is just that lately I've "fallen" into the dark/negative side of me. I just need sometime to find myself back again. So for now I'll just keep on whinning and complaining.
Probably I should really get over Year 1 and get a real break. Seriously it's been a while since I had real fun with my friends. Some how I really miss those days with my old friends. Those days that I can fell asleep anytime I want to. Ya. I mean it.Nowadays I find it hard for me to fall asleep everytime I get on my bed. It will at least take me half an hour to fall asleep. And the habit of taking nap had gone dead long ago.
I know there are more ppl in this world who r suffering in worse things that I do. That's why I'm saying that I complain too much in my life. Why can't I be the happy-go-lucky-me that I used to be again? I don't know. I'm still searching for the answer. And what is exactly the point that I'm blogging so much about my i-think-shitty-life every single day? Victoria, just slap urself :(
Fine. I'm out.I'm really sorry if anyone who read my blog and find my entries pretty disturbing. My bad. But that's just how I feel.
I think I really have to take the "diet" and "keep fit" subject seriously. And I MUST do it. Not WILL. After the "trial" presentation for LSC today, I realised how fat I am. Eeeww. Cuz everytime when I look at myself in the mirror, I don't feel as bad as I did after watching the playback of my presentation. All I can say is that I totally LOST my self-confidence. I know is never a good thing to have so many negative thoughts about myself but I can't seem to find a positive way to think about myself right now. And I even have a feeling that if this situation goes on, I might just ended up being killed by my own thoughts. Ha. No fear, I will never do things like killing myself with my own hands no matter how upset I am cuz I know I still have my mum and my friends who care about me. Is just that lately I've "fallen" into the dark/negative side of me. I just need sometime to find myself back again. So for now I'll just keep on whinning and complaining.
Probably I should really get over Year 1 and get a real break. Seriously it's been a while since I had real fun with my friends. Some how I really miss those days with my old friends. Those days that I can fell asleep anytime I want to. Ya. I mean it.Nowadays I find it hard for me to fall asleep everytime I get on my bed. It will at least take me half an hour to fall asleep. And the habit of taking nap had gone dead long ago.
I know there are more ppl in this world who r suffering in worse things that I do. That's why I'm saying that I complain too much in my life. Why can't I be the happy-go-lucky-me that I used to be again? I don't know. I'm still searching for the answer. And what is exactly the point that I'm blogging so much about my i-think-shitty-life every single day? Victoria, just slap urself :(
Fine. I'm out.I'm really sorry if anyone who read my blog and find my entries pretty disturbing. My bad. But that's just how I feel.
posted by Victoria at 4:44 PM
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